Words that nurture the mind
We’ve picked some tips from “NEW MORALS” to live better.
We will update it irregularly.
（Quote from『New morals:Words that nurture the mind 366 days』〔Written in Japanese〕）
Cherish “the time with parents”
The old saying, “By the time you wish to be a good son, your parents are long gone” came about when the average life expectancy was much shorter. However, even now, in the era of longevity, there are many people who are tormented by the wish that “I could have taken care of them better” after their parents were gone.
The time a grown-up child spends with his/her parents is surprisingly short. For example, let’s say a child around the age of 40 lives independently at a distant location. If the parents are in their late sixties, their life expectancy will be about twenty years from now according to the current average longevity. If parents and children spend 10 days a year, 9 hours a day, face to face together, there will be 1,800 hours, which are equal to 75 days, in 20 years. Shall we think carefully about how to spend this limited time?
Don’t you take anger out on objects?
Everyone has the experience of being angry and frustrated in the unfavorable circumstances where things don’t go your way. However, how you handle the emotion varies from person to person. Some people may express his/her emotion in words and attitudes while some people may suppress his/her own emotion without showing it to the outside. There may be some people who take anger out on familiar objects.
No matter how you handle them, no objection comes back from any objects which don’t have emotions. There is no fault on the objects’ side in the first place. It doesn’t make sense to take your arbitrary emotion out on objects.
Shall we say “thank you” to everyday items such as cars, phones, shoes and dishes, like we say it to people who take care of us. It doesn’t make those items happy or cheerful, but it brings out our feeling of appreciation and enriches our heart. By accumulating it every day, rich humanity will be nurtured.
Beware of “right thing”
Have you ever experienced that you were neglected by others before you knew even though you tried to say the “right thing” and to do the “right thing”?
It is important to follow the rules and etiquette of the “right thing” in order to maintain the social order. On the other hand, you can never build a good human relationship by blaming the people around you for the “right thing” in familiar places such as homes, workplaces, and communities.
We can see other people’s misconducts well, but we hardly notice our own mistakes. We may unknowingly bother others around us. It is important to think what if you are pointed it out. A person who is always considerate of the other person’s position and situation and who can act with a humble heart will be able to become familiar with everyone and build good relationships. It would be nice to have a warm personality like spring breeze.
Give your mind to a third party
When we take action for someone else, we wonder “how the other person will receive our actions,” but sometimes such “consideration” is not enough. There are cases that you cause unexpected trouble to the people other than those who receive the action directly, or make those people feel uncomfortable.
In order to achieve the favorable results for yourself, the other person, and a third party, it is important to take a breath, no matter what you do, and give your mind to the person who is affected by your actions. You should imagine who will receive what kind of impact, how they are perceived, and think of ways to make it work better and take action. By making the habit of paying attention to the “third party” in this way, we can spread the mind of consideration to more people.
Don’t forget your first resolution.
It is often said “don’t forget your first resolution.” First resolution is the pure and serious state of mind when you make an aspiration and get things started for the first time. Zeami, who was a master of world’s oldest theatrical art “Noh” during the Muromachi period, wrote the book “Kakyo” and said as follows.
“Don’t forget your first resolution as your inexpertness. Don’t forget your first resolution at any age level. Don’t forget your first resolution even after mellowed.”
We form resolutions of each size according to our own growth since our youth, and have “first resolution.” As long as you have a strong resolution, you will eventually accomplish anything as there is a saying “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
At the beginning of the year, we would like to renew our resolutions, inspire the original intentions and work toward the goals. It is said that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Shall we walk steadily, step by step, with firm guidelines?